I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
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