I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you would pick up someone in the library
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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