It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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