I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
