I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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