And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
