Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
