OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
