I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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