on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We're too hungover to prance.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
