I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
