Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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