You work out of a Hotel?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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