my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So many bounce houses so little time
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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