If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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