Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I didn't notice because vodka
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize