Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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