also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
