does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
