the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
