I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
