i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
