Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
