my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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