why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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