would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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