Banned from zoo.
Again?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
