were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
