Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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