pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
