What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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