All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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