i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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