he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
