Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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