I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
