So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
