just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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