Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
