I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
