take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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