It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
