Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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