Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
