another moral hangover. fuck.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
