My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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