You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize