Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
