Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
