Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Randomize
