Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
