Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
