Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
