The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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