BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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