part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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