Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
