I think I died a long time ago.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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