A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
