She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
