the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
