You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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