drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
