I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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