Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
