All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
