I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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